Sonic Rivals 2: Silver and Espio Parody Edition
by Descendant of Truth
Summary: Join Espio and Silver on their crazy adventure to kidnap chao, stop a somewhat undefined evil and most importantly, STALK EVERYONE. Espio isn't nearly as calm as everyone thinks he is, Silver is hostile towards EVERYTHING, and somehow these two become a team despite Silver constantly trying to take revenge on the former. Logic seems to be completely missing here. No pairings.
1. Blue Coast

**This game hasn't been parodied nearly as much as it should be.**

* * *

 **Blue Coast**

 **Scene 1**

 **Location: An Extremely Undefined City**

 **VECTOR (through a walky-talky):** Espio! I have a new mission for you!

 **ESPIO( _not_ through a walky-talky):** Finally! Now I can somehow make more money in order to pay for that rent we haven't paid in decades! Uh, I mean... what is it?

 **VECTOR:** There's this guy called Silver that popped up out of nowhere! Directly after that, chao started disappearing! And since I have absolutely no other form of evidence backing up this lousily-made theory, I need you to find evidence that Silver is indeed the culprit!

 **ESPIO:** What if I find evidence that proves he _isn't_ the culprit?

 **VECTOR:** Then manipulate the evidence so that it looks like it's him, anyway!

 **ESPIO:** Uh, why?

 **VECTOR:** Because I have an irrational hatred for him and I want him in prison for something he potentially never even committed!

 **ESPIO:** I'm going to decide _not_ to question that logic and carry out this irrational task blindly and without any further questions.

 **SILVER (who came out of nowhere, by the way):** HEY, CHAMELEON!

 **ESPIO:** OH, DEAR GOD, WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?! And what kind of way is that to greet someone?!

 **SILVER:** I came from a double rainbow eating unhealthy amounts of popcorn, located in the sky above Rivendell!

 **ESPIO:** ...What?

 **SILVER:** Also, that's how I greet everyone. Don't mind me. Also, do you know where any chao are?

 **ESPIO:** Uh-

 **SILVER:** YOU KNOW WHERE THEY ARE, DON'T YOU?!

 **ESPIO:** NO! I mean, yes. Maybe. Yes. No, wait, no, no I don't. I _definitely_ have a vague idea as to where a chao might be. That is, uh, I might know something, except for that I actually don't.

 **SILVER:** Well, _you're_ mental. On to the next innocent bystander, then.

 **ESPIO:** Okay, you sir, are seriously mistaken! Nothing about what I just said should make you think I'm insane! Freakin' teenagers...

 **SILVER:** Wait, you mean you're _not_ a teenager?

 **ESPIO:** UM... no.

 **SILVER:** You sure about that?

 **ESPIO:** Totally! Now, I'm going to go run away for absolutely no reason. Bye.

 **SILVER:** H-Hey, chameleon dude! Wait up!

 **SHADOW (who is lurking in the background):** Hmm, it seems that purple chameleon is being chased by that maniac Silver for no apparent reason. This must mean we should follow them! Metal Sonic, you follow the purple chameleon thing, and I'll stalk Silver!

 **METAL SONIC (who is also lurking in the background):** ... (display) [You have serious issues.]

 **SHADOW:** Shut up and start following him already.

 **METAL SONIC:** [Fine, Mr. Smartypants.]

 **SHADOW:** Ugh, you're starting to remind me of Sonic.

* * *

 **Scene 1.A (No Level Between Scenes; Background Changes)**

 **Location: 50 Feet or So Away From the First Scene**

 **SILVER:** Dang it, I lost him! I wonder if this has anything to do with the cha-

 **SHADOW:** *backflips, landing in front of Silver*

 **SILVER:** HOLY CRAP!

 **SHADOW:** SILVER! I have come from the depths of the earth in order to ask you an extremely blunt and straightforward question!

 **SILVER:** Oh, my God! YOU'RE SHADOW!

 **SHADOW:** Uh, yeah. We met a few months ago.

 **SILVER:** THIS IS A TOTALLY UNEXPECTED TURN OF EVENTS!

 **SHADOW:** Sure... whatever. Now why are you here and what are you up to? I swear, if it has anything to do with rainbows, then I'm going to kick you in the head. Again.

 **SILVER:** Oh, don't worry! It has _nothing_ to do with _you!_

 **SHADOW:** I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or just trying to be annoying...

 **SILVER:** In any case, don't get in my way. 'Kay?

 **SHADOW:** Yeah, uh, no.

 **SILVER:** ...Huh?

 **SHADOW:** I'm going to do whatever I can to prevent you from doing what you're about to do, despite not having any idea what it is!

 **SILVER:** Makes sense to me! Let's have a race for absolutely no reason whatsoever!

 **SHADOW:** For once, I agree with something that has stemmed from your vocal cords.

*Race ensues*

 **End Scene 1**

* * *

 **Scene 2**

 **Location: Further Along Who-Knows-Where**

 **SILVER:** Gee, that race was intense! I had to roll around in barrels, bounce on gravity-defying springs, and- WOULD YOU QUIT FOLLOWING ME?!

 **SHADOW:** No. Unless, of course, you tell me what I want to know.

 **SILVER:** In that case, since I for some reason need to keep what I'm here for a secret, I'm going to challenge you to a duel!

 **SHADOW:** A duel? _You?_ Don't make me laugh! You're weak! And you know what _makes_ you weak?

 **SILVER:** Um, no. What?

 **SHADOW:** The fact that you use Kuriboh in your card games! I AM FAR SUPERIOR IN THE WAYS OF LETHAL CARD GAMES FOR CHILDREN!

 **SILVER:** NOT _THAT_ KIND OF DUEL, YOU IMBECILE!

 **SHADOW:** Ohhh...!

 **SILVER:** I mean like a fist fight!

 **SHADOW:** OOOOOHHHHHHH...! I knew that.

 **SILVER:** _Suuure_ you did...

*Fight scene ensues*

 **End Scene 2**

* * *

 **Scene 3**

 **Location: I Don't Even Know at This Point**

 **ESPIO:** Whew, that was a close one! I don't actually know what I was trying to avoid, but thank God I managed to avoid it!

 **METAL SONIC:** *comes out of nowhere* (display) [Wow, it took an entire scene to track you down. Presumably, this is a new record.]

 **ESPIO:** Oh, my God! YOU'RE METAL SONIC!

 **METAL SONIC:** [How in the heck do you know who I am? Is the blue color scheme really that much of a givaway?]

 **ESPIO:** I never thought I'd get to meet a Robotnik-class Metal Sonic! Now if only I was familiar with the other-class Metal Sonics so I could do a comparison...

 **METAL SONIC:** [Wow, and I thought Shadow had problems.]

 **ESPIO:** Shadow's here, too?! This must mean Eggman's involved!

 **METAL SONIC:** [YOU SHOULD HAVE COME TO THAT CONCLUSION WHEN YOU SAW _ME!_ ]

 **ESPIO:** Unfortunately, as much as I'd like to use my extremely epic ninja computer hacking skills to investigate you, I have to hunt down Silver. Good day.

 **METAL SONIC:** [Oh, no you don't! I have orders to follow you! YOU CAN'T ESCAPE FROM ME!]

*Race Ensues*

 **End Scene 3**

* * *

 **Scene 4**

 **Location: Uh...**

 **ESPIO:** Wow, that race was intense! I got to use those glider things that generally have terrible collision detection! Truly, my survival is the result of my Ninja Power.

 **SILVER (who came out of nowhere yet again):** I have so many injuries right now...

 **ESPIO:** WHOA! S-Silver!

 **SILVER:** OH, YOU KNOW MY NAME, _HUH?!_ Well that's just _splendid!_ Now I have _two_ creepy stalkers to follow me around! WHO EVEN _ARE_ YOU?!

 **ESPIO:** I am Espio. I am also not a mere citizen.

 **SILVER:** Well, duh! I doubt any "mere citizen" would go around stalking me for no reason!

 **EGGMAN (who also appeared out of nowhere):** HOOOOH HO HO HO HO! You two are hilarious! I need to get some popcorn for this!

 **ESPIO:** Where did _you_ come from?!

 **SILVER:** Well, good luck trying to get any from a double rainbow. They're stingy about their popcorn. ...Wait... Eggman Nega?!

 **ESPIO:** Eggman... NEGA?

 **EGGMAN NEGA:** CURSE YOU, SILVER! ONCE AGAIN, YOU HAVE UNCOVERED MY TRUE IDENTITY!

 **SILVER:** Actually, I just like adding "Nega" to the end of the names of my adversaries. You just revieled yourself by your own accord.

 **EGGMAN NEGA:** DANG IT! Oh, well, might as well unleash a killer robot on all of you, now.

 **SHADOW:** Eggman NEGA? SO _YOU'RE_ THE ONE BEHIND ALL OF THIS!

 **ESPIO:** Behind all of what?

 **SILVER:** BACK OFF, SHADOW! HE'S _MINE!_

 **SHADOW:** But you're more wounded than me, how are you fit to fight anything?

 **SILVER:** I'm fit enough to fight you over who gets to fight the killer robot!

 **ESPIO:** That doesn't make any sense...

 **SHADOW & SILVER:** _It makes perfect sense and you know it!_

 **ESPIO:** Okay, okay, geez...!

*Competitive Boss Fight ensues*

 **ESPIO:** Man, I sure am content to just stand here and watch those two kill each other while trying to simultaneously kill a common enemy. Maybe I'll go get some popcorn to go with this. Too bad the rainbows won't sell any to me.

 **SILVER (in the background):** OH, GOD, MY LEG!

 **SHADOW:** HAHAHAHA- OW! Okay, that's it! You mess with the chest fur, and you mess with CHAOS CONTROL!

 **SILVER:** NOT IF I CAN USE PSYCHIC CONTROL, FIRST!

 **SHADOW:** That's not even a thing!

 **SILVER:** It's totally a thing, you jerk! AGH, NOT THE WEIRD RAZOR THING! KEEP IT AWAY FROM ME!

 **SHADOW:** If only there was an obvious weak spot!

 **SILVER:** There _is_ an obvious weak spot-

 **SHADOW:** NOPE. DEFINITELY SUBTLE.

 **ESPIO:** Yup. This is the life. ... I wonder where Metal Sonic went.

 **End Scene 4**

 **End Level 1: Blue Coast**

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog, SEGA, or any of their products, including characters, names of places, etc. All rights go to their respective owners.**

 **Author's Notes: So, I was watching a walkthrough of this game on YouTube, and I just couldn't help but parody it. I'm surprised at how little parodies there are of this game, actually. Currently, I'm just focusing on Silver and Espio's story, because it's just such a random duo. I had a ton of fun writing this, and I hope you all liked reading it!**


	2. Sunset Forest

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Sonic, SEGA, or any of their products, including characters, names of places, etc. All rights go to their respective owners.**

 **Yet another chapter! This time, we'll be covering Sunset Forest Zone!**

* * *

 **Sunset Forest**

 **Scene 1**

 **Location: A Slightly More Defined Forest**

 **ESPIO:** Okay, so maybe last time I wasn't being a very good ninja by letting him see me. But _this time_ I'm actually going to use my would-be instinctive camoflauge. *Uses super-awesome chameleon abilities to go invisible* Okay, now I just need to wait until he gets here-

 **SILVER:** HELLOOOO?! Chameleon dude?

 **ESPIO (thinking):** ((Well, _that_ was fast.))

 **SILVER:** Where are you?! I still need to take revenge on you for leaving me and Shadow to fend for ourselves! But mostly me! I mean, come on, I was injured from the start, for crying out loud! ... ... Well, fine then! I don't need you! I don't need your laziness and your purple color scheme! I can take care of everything by myself! BECAUSE I AM THE ONE AND ONLY-hey, look, a chao!

 **ESPIO:** ((Yeesh, he can go on for a while.))

 **SILVER:** Aw, you're so _cute!_ Who's a li'l cutie? You are! Yes, you are!

 **ESPIO:** ((Well, he _seems_ slightly calmer around chao than he does around-))

 **SILVER:** OWW! Hey, quit biting me! STOP THAT! OUCH! Okay, that's it! *Uses epic mind powers to lift chao off of him and tosses it into a bush*

 **ESPIO:** ((...Okay, then.))

 **SILVER:** Now, then, chao, I need you to come with me. I knew I was mistaken when I thought chao were cute... Where are the others?

 **CHAO:** CHA-CHAO! CHAAAAAAOOOOOO! CHAO CHAO CHA CHAO!*Translation: GET AWAY FROM ME OR I'LL SUMMON THE PACK! YOU WON'T LIKE ME WHEN I'VE SUMMONED THE PACK!*

 **SILVER:** Huh. You know, now that it's under the control of my telekinesis, it's actually kind of cute when it's cursing my name. Awwww...

 **ESPIO:** ((Yeah, I take it all back. This guy is mental. In any case, this technically qualifies as evidence proving that he's the one kidnapping the chao.))

 **SONIC (in the distance):** And then I said, "Making a mountain of handkerchiefs come out of nowhere is sure to solve all problems with society! Oh, and you can use it for tears, too, but I think that's a waste of a good handkerchiefs."

 **TAILS (also in the distance):** Hahaha! You're so funny, Sonic.

 **SONIC:** I know, right?

 **ESPIO:** ((What are _these two_ doing here? ...And what was that about handkerchiefs? WHY AM I SURROUNDED BY INSANE PEOPLE?!))

 **TAILS:** WHOA, SONIC, LOOK AT THAT!

 **SONIC:** OH, MY GOD! IT'S AN INCREDIBLY UNDEFINED OBJECT! If only this cutscene gave slightly more implication as to what this is so I could acknowledge what I'm seeing!

 **TAILS:** I wonder if this has anything to do with the chao?!

 **SONIC:** I have no idea, but considering how ridiculously undefined it is, probably!

 **TAILS:** Let's go run around the forest for no reason, without any idea as to what we're looking for or what we're even doing here!

 **SONIC:** AW, YEAH!

 **ESPIO:** ((Oooookaaaaay... _that_ happened. I wonder if those two have any idea what they've just uncovered? ...Wait, what kind of question is that? Of course they don't! That was the most undefined object I've ever seen! In fact, it was so undefined, I'm not sure I even saw anything! Maybe I should report this. I don't know why I should report this, but if my instincts say I should, then I most likely should.))

 **SILVER:** Hey, isn't that Sonic? Cool! I'm going to ignore my extremely important mission and start following him for no reason! Because hey, if following him around lets _Tails_ become a main character, then by all means, it should work for me, too. *Starts running after Sonic*

 **ESPIO (no longer thinking):** Well, I guess he's following Sonic. Rather than following Silver like my mission commands me to, I'm going to go stalk Tails instead. Because ninjas.

 **End Scene 1**

 **Scene 1.A (No level between scenes, background changes)**

 **SILVER:** Man, stalking people takes more energy than I thought. I wonder if other chao are around here somewhere? After all, I heard that chao live in packs. And by "I heard" I mean, "I'm introducing an in-canon fact about chao that will never be brought up again due to its lack of relevance."

 **SONIC:** Hmm, that's weird. For some reason, I'm getting the impression that someone's following me. Maybe it's the voice hanging around me talking about insignificant facts that will most likely never be relevant again. ...Nah, I'm just being paranoid.

 **SILVER:** I'm right here, you know!

 **SONIC:** *Turns around* WHOA, SOMEONE'S FOLLOWING ME! I TOTALLY DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING! Even though I really should by now, I mean, what with Tails and Amy, you'd think that I'd be used to stalkers by now.

 **SILVER:** MOVE ASIDE, SONIC!

 **SONIC:** Oh, it's you, Silver! Long time, no see! How've you been? Future been treating you well? *GAASP* Could it be... you're looking for Eggman, too?! ... Also, where did Tails go?

 **SILVER:** I honestly couldn't care less where Tails went. ... I SAID, MOVE ASIDE!

 **SONIC:** Hahaha! Awww, you're so silly, Silver! Glad to see you haven't changed one bit since we last met! Speaking of which, I'm gonna have to find Eggman before you!

 **SILVER:** What makes you think I'm looking for Eggman?!

 **SONIC:** I DON'T KNOW, BUT I'M POSITIVE THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE DOING!

 **SILVER:** And _you_ never stop jumping to conclusions! Now, let us race to decide... something! I don't know what, but _something!_

 **SONIC:** Hey, is it just me, or do you look like you've just been in several fights? And why do I feel like one of those fights was against a giant robot?

 **SILVER:** I could say the same about you. Only _you_ don't seem to acknowledge them.

 **SONIC:** Heh, are you kidding? I'm _Sonic the Hedgehog!_ I don't _need_ to worry about injuries!

 **SILVER:** Lucky...

 **SONIC:** So, ready for the race? ReadyGO! *Runs off*

 **SILVER:** HEY! I didn't have any time to prepare! *Runs after him*

*Race ensues*

 **End Scene 1.A**

 **Scene 2**

 **Location: Somewhere Else in This Slightly More Defined Forest**

 **SONIC:** Ha HAH! I won!

 **SILVER:** Of course you won, you're the _fastest thing alive!_

 **SONIC:** You were pretty good too, Silver! It's just that I don't have time for games right now!

 **SILVER:** Neither do I! In which case, let's have a competition to see who can collect the most chao rather than beating the crap out of each other like we usually do!

 **SONIC:** Wait, I thought we both just agreed that we didn't have time for games?

 **SILVER:** Shut up and play chao-collector with me.

 **SONIC:** Well, okay! Even though I have a really urgent mission I need to accomplish, and therefor don't have any time for playing games, I'm going to go with your plan and play a long, tedious hide-and-seek game with you! LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!

 **SILVER:** YEAAHHH!

*Chao searching ensues*

 **End Scene 2**

* * *

 **Scene 3**

 **Location: I Honestly Have No Idea, They Changed the Backgrounds too Much**

 **TAILS:** Hmm, for some reason, I'm getting the distinct impression someone's following me. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I can hear another pair of footsteps following my own. Unless I'm being paranoid. Which happens a lot. Especially when Sonic isn't around. SOOOONIIIIC?! WHERE ARE YOOOOUUUU?!

 **ESPIO (thinking):** ((My God, this kid's voice is annoying! Maybe if I interrogate him, that'll get him to shut up. Somehow. Because... ninjas.)) *No longer thinking* Hey, Ta-

 **TAILS:** AAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH! HOLY CRAP! I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG! I WAS FOLLOWED BY AN INVISIBLE GHOST THAT'S DETERMINED TO EAT MY SOUL AND USE IT AS ITS DAILY NOURISHMENT! SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULENCE-oh, it's just you, Espio.

 **ESPIO:** "Just me?" That's kind of rude. ((Also, it seems talking to him has only made him shout more. Why did I not see this coming?)) You also look like you're searching for something. I know this because... uh... somehow. Is something troubling you?

 **TAILS:** Aside from the fact that you nearly gave me heart attack and Sonic still isn't anywhere in sight? No, not really.

 **ESPIO:** Oh. Really?

 **TAILS:** Well, that, and I'm investigating the chao disappearences by following Eggman around wherever he goes.

 **ESPIO:** REALLY? Me t-I mean, any luck so far?

 **TAILS:** Sorry Espio, but for an extremely vague, unidentified reason, I can't tell you anything about it! So I'm going to abandon you to the horrors of this place that I'm assuming is a cave of some sort to track down Sonic! I feel like he's always leaving me behind. I dunno why. SEE YA! *runs off*

 **ESPIO:** HEY, GET BACK HERE! I'M NOT DONE ASKING YOU COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT QUESTIONS YET!

*Race ensues*

 **End Scene 3**

* * *

 **Scene 4**

 **Location: Um... Looks Like a Waterfall of Some Sort...?**

 **SILVER:** *Sees Espio* Oh, hey there, Chameleon! I was wondering where you went. How've you been-

 **ESPIO:** SILVER! I KNOW YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DISAPPEARING CHAO!

 **SILVER:** How would _you_ know that?

 **ESPIO:** I stalked you.

 **SILVER:** _That's_ not creepy at all.

 **ESPIO:** Hypocrite.

 **SILVER:** It's a lot less creepy when you're actually _familiar_ with the person who's stalking you.

 **ESPIO:** Huh. I didn't know it worked that way.

 **SILVER:** And in all fairness, I was doing it to save our world.

 **ESPIO:** What, stalking Sonic?

 **SILVER:** No! Collecting chao.

 **ESPIO:** But that makes no freaking sense! Why would you go through all the trouble of-

 **EGGMAN NEGA:** IT'S NO USE, SILVER!

 **SILVER:** OH, YOU DID _NOT_ JUST STEAL MY CATCHPHRASE! Oh, look, Sonic's coming, too. The joy. *blatant sarcasm*

 **SONIC:** YO, SILVER, ESPIO! LONG TIME, NO SEE!

 **SILVER:** We met just a few minutes ago...

 **SONIC:** Yo-yo-yo, Eggman! Long time, no see to you, too! Now why run if you don't have anything to do with the missing chao, hmm? Unless you're just being silly again, which I can totally understand.

 **TAILS:** By the way, you dropped this incredibly undefined object earlier. What does it... um... I don't know how to finish this sentence, SONIC, HELP!

 **SONIC:** *turns attention to the audience* Remember, kids! If you have trouble finishing a sentence, just trail off with an elipse to make yourself sound cooler and more mysterious than you actually are, because you're really just being awkward!

 **EGGMAN NEGA:** Hold on a second, WHERE DID YOU GET THAT!?

 **SILVER:** Okay, now is so not the time for this small talk! Now listen-

 **EGGMAN NEGA:** I'll take back that piece of paper, if you don't mind! Also-

 **SONIC & TAILS:** OOOOOHHHHHHH, SO IT WAS A PIECE OF PAPER! How did I not see that before?

 **SILVER:** _Listen-_

 **EGGMAN NEGA:** ALSO, I'm sending another killer robot after you.

 **SILVER:** WILL NO ONE LET ME FINISH MY SENTENCE?!

 **ESPIO:** No, now start fighting that giant robot!

 **SILVER:** WHY ME?! I'm the one who's wounded!

 **ESPIO:** Oh, just collect some rings and quit complaining.

 **SILVER:** YOU SUCK! But fine!

*Boss Battle Ensues*

 **End of Scene 4**

* * *

 **Author's Notes: Yeah, I think at this point, everyone in this series is mental. Sonic and Tails have no idea what they're doing or what they even picked up, Silver and Espio continue to stalk people, and who knows where Shadow and Metal Sonic went.**

 **I hope you liked this chapter!**


	3. Neon Palace

DISCLAIMER: **I DO NOT OWN SONIC THE HEDGEHOG. IT IS RIGHTFULLY OWNED BY SEGA.**

 **It's taken me literally two years to update this again. TWO YEARS! I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON, I APOLOGIZE TO THE FIVE PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY LIKED THIS STORY, ALJKHDFSBLJKGFG!**

Ahem. Anyway. Now we're at Neon Palace! Hope you guys enjoy the ride! :D

Scene 1

Location: A City and/or Something

SILVER: Ugh... I'm seriously beginning to wonder if health potions are just non-existent or if I'm really just that unlucky... Where did Eggman Nega take off to, anyway?

ESPIO: So, what was-

SILVER: ACK! How do you keep showing up out of nowhere like that?!

ESPIO: I'm a ninja, it comes with the job.

SILVER: No, you're a stalker.

ESPIO: It comes with that job, too.

SILVER: I'll admit, I can second that. Now, what do you want?

ESPIO: I was wondering what you were going on about back there with your whole, "saving the world" comment.

SILVER: Oh, that. Well, if we want to keep a psychotic demon from going completely ballistic on the world, we need to hide all the Chao in a safe place.

ESPIO: You want me to believe that?

SILVER: ...Yes, why?

ESPIO: Because all you've done so far is kidnap Chao, stalk people so you can interrogate them, and get into fistfights!

SILVER (sarcastically): Thanks a lot for helping me out with that last part, by the way. I totally wasn't having my life threatened during each one or anything.

ESPIO: My point being, you've done absolutely nothing so far to make your story credible whatsoever.

SILVER: Then don't give it any credit. Sheesh.

ESPIO: That's not my point, though.

SILVER: You literally just said-!

ESPIO: Listen, as unbelievable as it may seem... for some reason, I trust you.

SILVER: ...But you just said I have no credibility.

ESPIO: LOOK, TRUST DOESN'T ALWAYS HAVE TO MAKE SENSE, OKAY?!

SILVER: Okay, okay, not so loud! Look, are you going to help me, or keep getting in my way and being useless?

ESPIO: I'll help.

SILVER: Good, you can start now!

ESPIO: LOOK OVER THERE, THERE ARE PEOPLE!

SILVER: WHERE?!

ESPIO: EXACTLY WHERE I'M POINTING TO!

SILVER: Oh.

ESPIO: It's Knuckles and Rouge. It looks like they have two of the Chao!

SILVER: Strange, I wonder if that has anything to do with the Chao?

ESPIO: What do you THINK?

SILVER: I think you should start distracting that bat-girl while I get the Chao from Knuckles!

ESPIO: SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN!

End Scene 1

Scene 1.A

Location: Some Place with Slot Machines and no Discernible Floors

KNUCKLES: Silver! What are you doing here-? Hey! What's with you getting in my face?!

SILVER: *while his face isunnecessarily close to Knuckles's, giving him The Stare-Down* I don't know what you're talking about. I need those Chao. It's imprtant that I have them. Now move aside.

KNUCKLES: Hey, I mean, help yourself, man.

SILVER: *blinks* ...Excuse me?

KNUCKLES: Well, it's not like I need it. I'm busy collecting rings to fuel this Emerald Detector. Here ya go.

SILVER: Oh, um, okay. Thanks. *is feeling extremely awkward*

KNUCKLES: No problem, dude. Thanks for getting your face out of my face. Good luck with whatever it is you're doing. *leaves*

SILVER: I... I guess he's not interested in the Chao. Uh... might as well get some of the other Chao here...?

End Scene 1.A

Scene 2

Location: Who Cares, it's the Pinball Stage

SILVER: Well, I've successfully found five more Chao and have hidden them away in who-knows-where! A job well done, I'd say! Especially considering the fact that I got stuck in those giant gambling machines more than once.

KNUCKLES: Oh hey, Silver!

SILVER: Have you been following me.

KNUCKLES: What? No, I've just been in the same general area as you.

SILVER: Suspicious.

KNUCKLES: No, it's not! Although, I do admit to being curious about why you need those Chao. Is it just 'cause they're cute?

SILVER: No, I'm trying to save the world.

KNUCKLES: What? And you think that the Chao can help? Wow, so you're still just as crazy as you were the last time I saw you!

SILVER: Oh, so now I'm crazy now, huh?! Who was the one that raised their Chao from birth to become the Almighty Karate Champion by giving it nothing but Power Drives?!

KNUCKLES: In my defense, he turned out awesome! He guards the Master Emerald when I'm not there!

SILVER: And I suppose you needed that Emerald Detector for a normal Chaos Emerald, too?!

KNUCKLES: OH, THAT'S IT, CRAZY BOY! YOU'RE GOING DOWN!

SILVER: I'LL SHOW YOU HOW CRAZY I AM! IT'S ON!

(Fight scene ensues)

End Scene 2

Scene 3

Location: A Sidewalk of Some Sort

ESPIO: Hi Rouge what's up.

ROUGE: Whoa-what-huh?! Oh, it's just you, Espio. You startled me for a second! Talk about rude! Although that's probably very handy when going undercover. Think you could teach me to do that?

ESPIO: It's... kind of a chameleon thing.

ROUGE: Well, duh, but who says I can't be a chameleon?

ESPIO: ...The laws of physics would like to have a word with you, for starters.

ROUGE: Well, tell the laws of physics that it'll have to reschedule, I have a date with imagination to attend to.

ESPIO: ...Okay... in any case, I can see you've found something valuable.

ROUGE: What, you mean this Chao? Sorry, but if something doesn't glitter, it just isn't gold to me.

ESPIO: ALL THAT IS GOLD DOES NOT GLITTER. GET THE PHRASE RIGHT.

ROUGE: I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH THE PHRASE, PEASANT!

ESPIO: WHY IS THAT CHAO SITTING ON A CHAOS EMERALD?!

ROUGE: *gasps* GIMME THAT GLITTERY GEMSTONE!

ESPIO: Hang on a sec... if Rouge follows me, then I can lead her to Silver so he can get the other Chao! IT'S BRILLIANT! YOU'LL HAVE TO CATCH ME FIRST, NUT-JOB!

ROUGE: GET BACK HERE!

(race ensues)

End Scene 3

Scene 4

Location: EveRYwheRe LoOkS thE SaMe

ESPIO: Hey Silver, I finally found you! I just spent the last ten minutes running away from a crazed bat who ignores the laws of physics, how've you been doing?

SILVER: *is completely worn out* Oh... uh... y'know... getting into a fistfight... with a guy with spiked fists... I'm all nice and dandy...

ESPIO: You really need to stop picking fights with every person you meet.

SILVER: Yeah, yeah. Listen, since you decided to trust me... for some reason... I should probably give you some exposition.

ESPIO: That would be pretty helpful, I'll admit.

SILVER: Eggman Nega... basically wants to unleash a fire demon... called the Ifrit. To destroy the world. Wow, I could seriously use a 200 HP Restore right now...

ESPIO: Stay on the topic, Silver. Now, how exactly do the Chao come into this, again? I'm still confused about that.

EGGMAN NEGA: HOW DARE YOU TRY TO GIVE EXPOSITION AND FIND REASONING IN MY PLAN! THE ONLY WAY I CAN RECTIFY THIS IS BY THROWING A KILLER ROBOT AT YOU!

SILVER: Espio, you fight it.

ESPIO: Uh, hey! Look over there! It's Knuckles and Rouge!

SILVER: You have GOT to be kidding. Quick, let's get this over with before Knuckles starts looking for a rematch.

KNUCKLES: ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA-ORA!

SILVER: TIKES! *runs into the robot battlefield without paying attention to where he's going*

ESPIO: How I manage to weasel my way out of all these is beyond me.

ROUGE: We chameleons have a way of weaseling out of all situations, Espio. Trust me, I know.

ESPIO: ...

ROUGE: *smiles*

ESPIO: ...Help.

End Scene 4

 **Author's Notes: I'll think of something to say when it's NOT 1 AM and I'm dead tired. Either way, I hoped you all enjoyed that chapter!**


End file.
